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Chapter 22: Quit Day 5
Emma let out a huge sigh of relief.
Four days of sunflowers.
FOUR DAYS!
With different notes altogether. The second day Adam was thanking her for always make sure she gets the right newspapers on his table. The third day he thanked her for getting rid of haughty clients, fourth day he thanked her for not wearing the pink heels he hated so much because it reminded him of Malibu Barbie. She used to laugh when hearing the excuse but later on learned that a school bully once nearly choked him with Malibu Barbie's shoes. It's funny, yet traumatizing.
And today it seems that Adam has forgotten about the flowers. Or maybe he's just fedup doing it. Or maybe he's out of gratitude.
As she walked towards her desk -which is now filled with sunflowers, half blooming half near death already- which reminds her of Van Gogh's painting and it's funny realizing that you are having a Van Gogh's painting behind you, knowing that you are just a simple person who wants simpler things, she realized that it hurts her that Adam stopped only after four days.
Is she worth only that much? Four days of sunflowers and cards filled with memories?
She hates getting them, but not getting them hurts more. The woman's mind works in a peculiar way. To hate having something but to hate it even more not having it is something that she cannot explain. But it feels like she is not worth huge endeavours.
Would Adam stop sending flowers to Adelia? Would he stop flatttering her with gifts and love? Not knowing how he treats Adelia and comparing on how he treats her made Emma angry. She doesn't want to know and et she wants to know. And she hates being insipid and weak when she wanted to be strong.
Emma puts her bag on the side table and slump down to her comfy chair. Adam's light is off again, but she can hear him ruffling inside doing God knows what. Him and his so-called struggles to get her back. His stupid sunflower-plan.
Emma sighs.
She shouldn't be upset. Shouldn't. Never.
And with that she push the start button and stares at the computer as it began to make the startup sound, and later featuring the wallpaper of the company's logo.
"We need to have a logo." she remembered him saying.
"Why?"
"Because without it, we're just a mock company. We need to have a logo, a corporate color, fancy stamps with my name and the word CEO on it."
"Show off..."
"Ahaha. I'm serious. I mean, if we want to make this thing happen,we need to look grand. Intimidate."
"That's why you sold your old car for a Hyundai?"
"Yes. Because when you use big cars, the valet guy comes to you and will take it to the special parking lot. The people who sees you will think you're a bigshot, and if you're lucky, the client will see it too. Intimidation is important in business especially in OUR business."
"If you say so, boss. Then how you want our logo to be?"
"Something strong... like... like..."
"Tigers? Dragons? Lion?"
"Too cliche... I want something that speaks for itself, like... like..."
And they both answer the same thing.
And Emma smiled, looking at the logo of a smile.
"Why?"
"No. Why you?"
"I thought a smile gives a powerful meaning. You always knew the answer to your question based on people's smile."
"I thought so too." says Adam.
The door to Adam's room creaked open, and Emma staggered, trying to wash away the thought of their conversation years ago. She threw a look towards the person coming out from the room and was surprised to see Ann.
"Where's Adam?" she asked.
"He called in sick. He said that he tried to call you but your cell's off. I was in his room trying to find his notebook. He asked for it." said Ann.
"Ouh. Yes." she forgot to charge her cell's batteries.
"Do you know where he lives?" Emma asked.
"I know the address but I'm not sure."
"Well, never mind then. Let me take them to his house. You stay here, and cancel all his appointments." directs Emma, whilst grabbing her bag and putting the notebook inside its cover. "And if Adam called, just tell him I'm on my way."
"Is he okay?"
"Yes. It's just a common cold. Adam gets it all the time especially if he's up working late the day before."
"What do you do usually?"
"Well, usually when it happens, I would bring his notebook to his house, and make him his favourite herb porridge."
"Cook?"
"Well, don't worry. If not enough time you just buy him one at Kwanloong Restaurant. When he's sick he's just like a baby and won't eat, so it's up to you to make him eat."
"Wow, that sounds more like a wife rather than an assistant." Ann was not amused.
Emma smiled.
"When you're Adam's assistant, you ARE his wife."
And then she left...
To be continued
Chapter 20: Challenges and Walls
"How's work?" he asked, as soon as both of them sat down.
"Great." she answered, smiling. Edmund nodded.
"I heard that you are quitting?"
Emma looks at him, ready to answer when the waiter came upon them with the menu. She signals with her eyes that the answer will have to wait until they'realone again.
"Chicken salad and onions." Edmund the first to order.
"Same here." Emma follows.
"Drinks?"
"Emma?"
"Lemon snooze." she looks at him intently.
"Same here." he said.
The waiter moves away.
"Wow, you're a copycat..." she jokes.
"You're the unoriginal one. Chicken salad and onions..." he replies.
"Well, I didn't mean to have the same craving for onions."
"Same here."
"Copycat!" she laughs. He laughs with her, enjoying the sound of it. Enjoying the fact that he made her laugh.
"Yes, I quit. But I still have to work there for another 60days." she said.
"Why?"
"Because Adam said that he needs me there to train his new sec. And it's in the protocol that I have to stay for that duration."
Edmund nodded.
Typical Adam to do that. Letting her go without letting her go. Just like once before.
A different waiter comes with their orders. Putting the same chicken salad and onions and lemon snooze on the table.
"Well,is this what you want really? To quit?" he asked her.
"Yes. I'm not going anywhere staying there. If I wanna move on, I can't be doing the same thing." she answers.
"Like killing the cancer." he retorts.
Emma smiles acknowledgingly.
"Yes, like killing the cancer."
"I'm glad that you finally make this decision." he said, boldly touching the back of her hands in encouragement.
She opens her mouth to say her appreciation when she saw him.
Him. Standing behind Edmund, staring intently at his hand on hers.
"Adam?"
Edmund looked at her quizzically before realizing she wasn't looking at him. He looked back,and saw Adam. And not understanding why, taking his hand off hers in silent grudge.
"Hi, Emma. Didn't know you're here with... ah, the family doctor. How are you, Ed?" his gaze moves from Emma to Edmund, giving him an unknowing look.
"Fine, thank you."
"Oh, matching dinner. Interesting. I didn't know you had it in you, Edmund... this old age way to woman's heart. A bit tacky, but still works." he laughs, patting Edmund's back.
"Yes, Adam. A bit tacky. But I started it." Emma answers.
"Touche..." he answers, smiling undefinitely.
"Oh well. It's a pleasure to see both of you. Well, I gotta go. Anything, I will be there near the pool there. I'm having dinner with Mr Takeyoshi, as you know, Emma. We met him before."
"Oh yes, the D-tech Project." she answered.
"Yes, the D-tech Project. I proposed to you right after that, remember?"
Edmund saw her face changes.
"Yes." she answers timidly.
Adam looks at Edmund and smiled, and Edmund understand that look clearly. It's not just a friendly smile. It's telling him that all their agreement in his office once upon an April is now off. He is backing out from the plan. Adam doen't want him in the picture.
"Oh yes, I remembered that one too. I saw you right after he proposed and thinking what a lucky guy... the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I kept thinking if I can be at his place, I would not let this one go." he took Emma's hand again, and gives her the most encouraging smile. Emma mouths her appreciation to him.
He turns his gaze towards Adam, knowingly informing him with his eyes that he isn't going nowhere. He IS in the picture, and Adam must find another way to delete it.
"Yes, and she is still not being let go. I can assure you that." Adam challenges. "Good evening to both of you chicken-saladers." he gives them a little head bow, his eyes sparkling anger towards Edmund, and a knowing acknowledgement towards Emma.
Edmund understands it well.
And Emma...
She starts to build a wall inside her, without knowing what it is she is trying to avoid.
To be continued...
Chapter 19: Who Is It
She gave him her resignation letter.
"Isn't there any other way for us to settle this?" he pleaded.
Emma shakes her head.
There is a way. They can go back together, they can start over and this time do it right. He will tell her he loves her. She can answer the affirmative. Happily ever after.
But that's not the way now. It's too complicated.
It's easy to put it on paper. She used to love him most ardently. And he actually loves her. There's no reason why she can't be with him.
Maybe Adelia....
Ah screw Adelia... why must she care about Adelia. Does Adelia cares when Adam left Emma to be with her?
Yeah... that's why...
It's not about her feelings. It's not about Adelia.
It's him.
"Emma, I need you here. I can't function without you."
"Relax. I'm not rushing to go anywhere. The protocol clearly said that I have to be here for a month." she said.
Adam sighs.
"Two months." he said, finally tearing off the envelope and read the letter as if it copntains something else, and not Emma's resignation.
"What?" her forehead creases.
Adam leans towards her.
"A month only for those who worked here at least two years. YOU have been here for as long as I can remember. You can only leave after two months." he said.
Emma was speechless.
"But I can't stay here for two whole months!"
"It's in the protocol, Emma. The protocol we made together, remember?" Adam smiled, feeling victorious.
"But two month? I... I..."
She can't finish the sentence. Not at the moment when her mind failed her miserably.
"Look. I'm being generous. In fact you are not to resign until three months period. You have been here the longest. It has been Adam and Emma all the way through. All your workloads are exclusive to my knowing and to yours alone. You can't teach somebody new for just a month." he lied.
There is never three months duration. But he needs her to agree to stay for at least eight week. He can do something in eight week. He may be able to change her mind. He may be able to win her back.
"It's not somebody new... "
"Who do you have in mind?"
"Ann." she answered.
"Ann?"
"Ann from human resource. She works well with others and she's a fast learner. Anad I know she can do this because I've seen her and ...." she explains.
"I am not talking about whose your replacement, Emma." Adam stopped her.
Emma looked up and saw him staring at her again.
"Excuse me?"
Adam sit up straight.
"I'm talking about him. Who is it? Who is the person that made you like this? Who is it that convinced you to resign? Who is the lucky guy who you sacrifice your job for?" he puts his fingers on his temple, lazily eyeing her up and down.
Edmund... she can just say. But it's not true.
"Nobody. I am not in love, if that's what you're getting to." she looks at him suspiciously. He smiled almost lazily, and nodded.
"Yes. You are not in love. I am convinced." he sound so cynical that Emma wanted so much to argue with him. But it's no point. It's easier if he thinks that. Maybe that way he will leave her alone.
"Two months, Emma. That's it. You can go now." he said finally. Emma turns and head back to her table, but not without hearing him humming and asking with a singsong voice....
"Who is it..."
To be continued...
Chapter 18: The Story
The real story begins as soon as Emma was alone that night.
Thinking, perceiving, understanding her own life. It was a fun game, driving Adam mad without knowing his real intentions and his real feeling. But every time she sees him red with envy each time she refused him and using Edmund's name as an excuse to her unavailability, it made her feel good. And yet she never knew what's on his mind.
Maybe... just maybe, he's in love with her. She wanted to dismiss the thought from her head every time she is reminded how perfect Adalea is and how madly in love he was with her. But maybe... just maybe, Adam missed her. Maybe Adalea wasn't so perfect after all. Maybe what he wants is in her; Emma, all along.
But isn't it too late already? Would she want to accept the man who has ruined perhaps forever her belief in happily ever after? And would she accept him after how wonderful Edmund was to her, being there for her all the way?
Maybe she should just....
Emma sighs. The night is getting late, and whatever was in her mind, it just have to wait....
*********************
Emma saw him, smiling as he opens the door, bids her good morning, swallow her whole with his gaze before he vanished behind the close door. He was still in agood mood that afternoon, presenting her with an iris before he went to lunch and bringing her a cup of her favorite shakes as he returned. She was perplexed by his tender greetings and his extremely good mood that she was curious enough to ask him after submitting a document he asked later that day.
"I just.... am." he said.
"Are you sure?" her forehead creases.
"Mhm." he said.
She nodded. Clearly he wasn't in a mood (though happy) to discuss it with her and she chose not to urge on and so she turn her back from him and started to walk out.
"Ada's not here." he suddenly said.
She stopped.
"Huh?" head turns.
"Adalea. She had to go to Japan for a PS." he explains.
"And you're happy because....?" Emma doesn't understand.
Adam didn't look up at her. He kept on smiling, his eyes intent on the content of the proposal she gave to him.
"Because I finally understood the fact that I would not miss her." he said.
"Uhuh?"
"I finally realized that it's okay if she's not here and it's okay if she would not return. It doesn't matter." he flips to the next page. Emma did not reply. She is thinking about how close the door is to where she stands.
"Do you like your iris?" he asked.
"Oh yeah." she said, her voice timid.
"And your shakes? I always remembered you like strawberry."
"Uhm." she nodded quietly.
"You see, I don't always forget the little details about you."
Emma didn't like where the conversation is going.
"I want to know you again." he said finally, gazing upon the pair of mesmerizing eyes, smiling as he says those words. She gazed back at him, her forehead creasing. She hoped so much he would not say those words, but he did. And now she has to. The thing she thought about last night, now it just had to be done.
"I am resigning." she answered. His smile falters.
"What?"
"I am resigning. I will give you the letter tomorrow. Don't worry, I will help you look for a new secretary and I'll train her. Give me a month."
"Emma, why..."
"That's the only way we could be friends."
"Friends?"
"Friends."
"That's a painful word."
"That's what you said before."
"And you are punishing me for it."
"I didn't say I hate you.I just said we could be friends."
"Don't leave me then. Stay."
"I can't. Not with you around."
She didn't try to let him talk. As every words uttered, she moves further back, and finally opens the door and leave.
To be continued...
Chapter 17: Beginning of the End
"And then he was like, pissed off or something. I swear he was smirking like a baby." Emma laughs.
"Mhm..." says I.
Not to be rude, but I am worried about Emma. It seems like it has become a habit of hers to make Adam jealous. And why Adam would be jealous, THAT'S another question I would love to ask. But I know Emma could never explain it. She herself doesn't understand why he acted the way he did.
It all began last Wednesday.
Realizing that he's alone all week after Adalea was gone to Australia for an important shoot (models always seem to have 'important' shoots, I can never understand why they don't just call the profession as 'model of importance'), Adam seem to turn allhis energy into trying to get Emma to pay attention to him. All week long he asked her to follow him to business lunches, meeting clients, conferences. At night he will call her and brief her about stuff that she indeed has been done for five straight years. Albeit impressed with all this attention, Emma realized that playing hard is a fun thing to do so all week long she became this monotonous person who just follows around at it drives him crazy.
"Why did you do that?" I asked her.
"I barely know why. But it's as if like... if I treat him nicely and be friendly, it's like giving him what he wants. And I'm tired of it. I don't want to be the alternative choice no more." she answered.
So all week long,it was Adam and Emma, HE did all the talking and she did all the nodding and refusing to do dinner with him. Her resistance drove him crazy. Finally she agreed on a dinner, but to turn him away the moment she realized it's not part of the plan.
"Are you just playing him?" I asked.
"No...." she shook her head violently, stressing on denying it. "I just don't want to be his yes-girl anymore."
"Have you told him?"
"Told him what?" Emma looked at me quizzically.
"That you don't want to be his yes-girl anymore?"
Emma lowered her eyes to the ground.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'm scared."
"That you will regret it? That you may break all ties with him but still have feelings for him?"
She laughs cynically.
"Stop knowing me too much." she said.
I let out a heavy sigh.
"How about Dr Lee?"
"What about Edmund?"
"Do you love him?"
"Love is such a big word. I lost all trust in it."
"But he still believes in them. And he wants you to believe in them again."
"What if I don't want to?"
"Then YOU have to tell Dr Lee that you don't."
Emma gaze turns towards the window.
"I don't want to believe in all that love crap again. But I don't want to lose Edmund." she finally said.
"You have to lose someone, Emma. Whether Dr Lee or Adam. But you just can't keep them at your end's wit."
"It's not like they are in love with me or anything..."
"If you believe in that, then listen to me. Break it to Adam that you're not comfortable being his yes-girl again. Tell him that the two of you are no longer married and that's that. He just need to understand all that links you to him is strictly business."
"And Edmund?"
"You don't need me to tell you everything, Emma. You know your own heart."
And that's how this story REALLY begins...
Chapter 16: Meet Adalea
"Hi."
Emma heard the voice. She knew the voice very well. But she was too terrified to look. She can smell the perfume, heard the jangling of her bangles and the pretty nails, and can bet that it's an expensive manicure.
"Excuse me, is Adam in?" the sultry voice asked.
Emma hated it all. She cannot understand how can someone be so popular and so pretty and have a sexy voice as well? How can someone be so goddamn perfect?
She let out a quiet sigh and raise her head, meeting her eyes.
"He's on the phone with a client. Do you mind to wait for a while?" she asked. Adalea smiled.
"Oh sure. I don't mind." she said cheerfully and sits down on the couch near Emma's place.
Emma continued typing.
"So how are you?" Adalea speaks again.
Emma stopped typing.
"I'm good. You?" she tried to fake a smile.
"Oh great. Yeah." she answered enthusiastically. Emma nodded.
She continued typing.
"So, how's life after... you know, DiAnn's...?"
Emma stopped.
"I'm okay. Still grieving, she's like a mother, you know. But okay. I don't know about Adam though." she answered.
Adalea nodded.
"Yeah, he was devastated. She means the world to him, you know." said Adalea.
"I know." said Emma with a smile.
She continued typing.
And to top all the beauty and grace and sexy voice is the fact that Adalea IS nice. That Emma liked her as a person. She's not some cheap husband-huntress who looked more like a prostitute rather than a real lady. She's a genuine person. If not for the fact that she was the reason Adam failed to see Emma for what's her worth, Emma would have liked Adalea for a bestfriend.
Apart from all the envy and personal loathe, Emma really likes her.
From the corner of her eyes she was able to observe Adalea. The 5"7' GAP model is the epitome of elegance and poise. Being born in an already wealthy family of aristocrats, Adalea doesn't need to work hard to get what she wants. Come to think about it, she didn't even need to work hard to get the life she wanted. All she have to do is give her most addictive smile and men will throw away their life at her feet. Some just able to have it all without doing anything much, and Adalea is the perfect example. But she chose to work for it all.
And maybe that's why Adam was so attracted to her.
A ring on her phone startled Emma. She picked it up.
"Yes?"
"Emma, if Sir Bennington called, tell him I'm not in." directs Adam.
"May I ask why?"
"Err... it's a secret?" Adam joked.
"Okay then, might as well tell the big guy you're avoiding him." Emma retorts.
Adam laughs.
"Okay, okay. I just don't feel like talking to him today. He tends to lament about his knighthood it drives me crazy."
"You're just jealous."
"Oh do I? How about you take my place at the dinner with him tomorrow and see how you handle his boastful ass."
Emma laughs.
"I don't do expensive dinner." she said.
"Oh? This is news to me. What if I teach you how tonight?" he answered.
Emma smiled.
"I have a dinner date at the hawker's stall tonight... And Adalea is here." Emma told him.
Quiet.
"Oh yeah, send her in." he said finally.
"Okay." she quickily puts the phone down.
"Adalea," she called.
"Just call me Ada, Emma..."
"Ada, Adam's free now. You can come in." Emma gave her sweetest smile.
"Oh, okay.Thanks." she smiled back, and arise from her seat, just as Adam opens his door and went to her giving her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"Will you have dinner with me tonight, love?" he asked her sweetly.
"I'll be glad to." she answered him, whilst toying with his tie.
Sickening sweetness... Emma tried not to puke.
"Emma, I won't be coming back so just cancel all my appointments, okay?" he gave her a glance.
"Sure. Have a nice day." she replied nonchalantly.
He pursed his lips, and take Adalea by the hand, leading her towards the exit.
Emma hoped he would not realize she doesn't have any hawker stall-date tonight...
To be continued...
Chapter 15: Rebirth
"For what?" asked Emma.
Adam did not answer immediately. As if the floor is patterned with inspiration, he kept his head low, eyes deep set on the dark brown tiles.
Emma let out a lazy sigh. She didn't know why she stammered just now, but she did. It's not something that someone could take back. But after the good time she had with Edmund -yes, she called him Edmund- she felt more annoyed at seeing Adam. It's anger, and she doesn't understand why. She doesn't hate him, but she's angry at him at all sudden.
He could have given her the same affection she received from Edmund but he chose not to. He chose not to love her, and realizing it made Emma furious. It's like a new revelation pouring inside her soul.
"Look. If you're not telling me why you're sorry then I guess I should go now. There are lots of things you asked me to do before lunch." she said, whilst getting up.
But he grabs her hand, forcing her to sit down. Emma did what she was told amidst the annoyance she felt.
"I'm sorry that I hurt you." he finally said. Emma turns her head towards him.
"What?"
"I'm sorry I yelled at you just now. I didn't mean to." he explains.
"Oh." Emma smiled curtly.
"Emma, you have all the right in the world to do as you please here. You're not just one of my staff. You're a part of me. You made me who I am today in this business. I would not be where I am today if you were not my secretary. I'm sorry I howl at you. It's not intentional. I was just distressed. I'm sorry."
It figures. Typical Adam's way. Typical men's way. Apologizing for the little sins hoping that the acceptance would include the old pains, and all's forgiven. Taking assurance that by her telling him that it's fine, that she forgives him, would make him sleep better at night, although the things he apologized for did not change anything. It would not change the fact that he made her feel useless, made her feel ugly, made her feel unwanted.
But still, Emma realized, that it's not just Adam's fault. She agreed to each and every thing he wanted. It's not his fault that he doesn't love her. She can't force him to love her, to sacrifice as much as she did for him. She knew for certain where his heart lies in the first place, and yet she chose to be with him. She chose to bear the pain of witnessing her love not being returned.
And that's how she accepted his apology. That's how she managed to put aside her annoyance and smiled to him, telling him it's okay. That's how she managed to fall in love again.
It is stupid when you think about it. But love IS -as people said it was- blind. Her affections and candour to him is not a thing moulded in only one night. It had found its base long ago. And nobody will understand how difficult it would be to fall out of love when it was planted, weeded and grown for years.
"Thank you." he told her, pulling her hands toward his lips and kissed it repeatedly. He wasn't behaving like her employer. Indeed he was acting like a man in hope, just like the day he asked for her help. How can she hate him?
But she knew it too well. She knew Adam too well to know that his sincerety are often questionable. Thus amidst the rebirth of her affection, she pulled her hands from his grasp, told him that she still needed to continue her work, and walk to the door.
"Emma," he calls her sweetly.
"Yes?"
"I don't know what I would do without you." he smiled sincerely.
"You'll do fine." she said, and left his room.
The love in her heart is still there, but the poundings are getting slower...
To be continued...
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