Coming in at 8.30am. Seeing sunflowers on the desk. Smelling them, and then smile, thinking how stupid it is to smell a flower that you know have no scent. Reading the little card below. Smile evaporates.
Flowers are taken off table and put under it.
The card was teared away, and ended up in the drawer, the handwriting is still clear, with a note saying 'Thanks for always taking my calls and create excuses for me. - Adam."
She glances into his room, noticing him inside, wiling away with his laptop in the dark. Peculiar, the fact that he failed to switch on the light. She wanted to ask, but she dared not disturb him. She knew that the moment she said something to him, it would not end. It would become a question, and an answer, and conversation. And it would turn into a joke and they would laugh together. And then the laughter would turn into a smile, and he would sigh and said,
"Remember when we used to...."
It has been like that for years.
And she doesn't want to miss that. And that's how she decided not to ask him about the lights.
At 11.00am, Ann would come by. It is the time for Ann to start learning her way into Emma's world. She will have to learn to make appointments, reserving hotels, calling off on meetings, putting together minutes, key in new important notes into his calendar, his PDAs (all three of em), ordering food, accompanying him to functions, represent him when he wasn't able to attend to seminars. All of that.
Ann would also have to learn the inner part of the job. What kind of excuses she will have to give to clients when Adam doesn't feel like meeting them. What must she do when Adam thinks the lasagna is all soiled. What special ingredient must be put into his morning coffee. What time would he actually be in office, when he said "I'm just around the corner" every time she called him. What kind of magazine she must put on his table every early of the month.
How to say NO when he begged her to stay and accompany him on those long nights when he has to finish his presentation. She sighs...
The list is endless.
She will have only a couple of month to teach Ann what she has learned to do for five years, what she has IMBEDDED in her head like an automaton for five years, doing it because she loved him.
That's the difference. It would not be the same with Ann because she will do it all, she might also be excellent in doing it all, quick and always thinking on her toes. But she will do it for the fact that she is going to be her secretary and get an increment. Because it's her job to do so.
Not because of the tingling sensation one gets when Adam smiled and say "You have brighten my day again." Not because of his charming smile. Not because one felt fulfilled doing it, and thinking about it at night, wondering if he would ever be hers, if he would ever realized how important she is to his life... and then throw it all away when he has the chance to see it.
And how she can never forgive him for it, no matter how deeply love still lingers.
"Emma,"
Emma was startled.
"You are... dreaming?" he smiled slyly at her. Emma cleared her throat and started to rearrange stuff without realizing what it is she is doing.
"No, I'm just thinking."
"Thinking? About what?" he folds his arms and lie against her desk.
About why you are not switching the lights...
"About the card."
Darn it! Should've answered what I had in mind!
"The card, eh?" he grins. And started to look way beyond her.
"Do you remember the time you told Mr Mann that I was down with fever when I told you to cancel our meeting, and later on we ran into him on the way to the lobster place?"
Emma couldn't help but laugh at the memory of it. Especially the look on Adam's face when trying to lure himself out, and pretending that they didn't just told the old guy that he was down with a fever earlier. He shakes Mr Mann's hand and asked him why he didn't come to the meeting and left the poor old guy looking puzzled. And she made Emma lied by saying she has lost his phone the day earlier and so would not be possible to call Mr Mann to cancel any meeting.
"That wasn't so nice." Emma said, when she was done laughing.
"I know... but fun still." He didn't look at her, whilst toying with her fountain pen.
And then things are quiet again.
"Please don't put the flowers under your table Emma." he said finally.
She didn't answer him. She didn't know what to say.
"Please don't put the flowers under your table where we can't see them. They're beautiful. You can't just hate them. I would not let you hate them."
And then without another word, Adam left and went back to his room.
His dark room, lightened by only the deem light of his notebook.
Flowers are taken off table and put under it.
The card was teared away, and ended up in the drawer, the handwriting is still clear, with a note saying 'Thanks for always taking my calls and create excuses for me. - Adam."
She glances into his room, noticing him inside, wiling away with his laptop in the dark. Peculiar, the fact that he failed to switch on the light. She wanted to ask, but she dared not disturb him. She knew that the moment she said something to him, it would not end. It would become a question, and an answer, and conversation. And it would turn into a joke and they would laugh together. And then the laughter would turn into a smile, and he would sigh and said,
"Remember when we used to...."
It has been like that for years.
And she doesn't want to miss that. And that's how she decided not to ask him about the lights.
At 11.00am, Ann would come by. It is the time for Ann to start learning her way into Emma's world. She will have to learn to make appointments, reserving hotels, calling off on meetings, putting together minutes, key in new important notes into his calendar, his PDAs (all three of em), ordering food, accompanying him to functions, represent him when he wasn't able to attend to seminars. All of that.
Ann would also have to learn the inner part of the job. What kind of excuses she will have to give to clients when Adam doesn't feel like meeting them. What must she do when Adam thinks the lasagna is all soiled. What special ingredient must be put into his morning coffee. What time would he actually be in office, when he said "I'm just around the corner" every time she called him. What kind of magazine she must put on his table every early of the month.
How to say NO when he begged her to stay and accompany him on those long nights when he has to finish his presentation. She sighs...
The list is endless.
She will have only a couple of month to teach Ann what she has learned to do for five years, what she has IMBEDDED in her head like an automaton for five years, doing it because she loved him.
That's the difference. It would not be the same with Ann because she will do it all, she might also be excellent in doing it all, quick and always thinking on her toes. But she will do it for the fact that she is going to be her secretary and get an increment. Because it's her job to do so.
Not because of the tingling sensation one gets when Adam smiled and say "You have brighten my day again." Not because of his charming smile. Not because one felt fulfilled doing it, and thinking about it at night, wondering if he would ever be hers, if he would ever realized how important she is to his life... and then throw it all away when he has the chance to see it.
And how she can never forgive him for it, no matter how deeply love still lingers.
"Emma,"
Emma was startled.
"You are... dreaming?" he smiled slyly at her. Emma cleared her throat and started to rearrange stuff without realizing what it is she is doing.
"No, I'm just thinking."
"Thinking? About what?" he folds his arms and lie against her desk.
About why you are not switching the lights...
"About the card."
Darn it! Should've answered what I had in mind!
"The card, eh?" he grins. And started to look way beyond her.
"Do you remember the time you told Mr Mann that I was down with fever when I told you to cancel our meeting, and later on we ran into him on the way to the lobster place?"
Emma couldn't help but laugh at the memory of it. Especially the look on Adam's face when trying to lure himself out, and pretending that they didn't just told the old guy that he was down with a fever earlier. He shakes Mr Mann's hand and asked him why he didn't come to the meeting and left the poor old guy looking puzzled. And she made Emma lied by saying she has lost his phone the day earlier and so would not be possible to call Mr Mann to cancel any meeting.
"That wasn't so nice." Emma said, when she was done laughing.
"I know... but fun still." He didn't look at her, whilst toying with her fountain pen.
And then things are quiet again.
"Please don't put the flowers under your table Emma." he said finally.
She didn't answer him. She didn't know what to say.
"Please don't put the flowers under your table where we can't see them. They're beautiful. You can't just hate them. I would not let you hate them."
And then without another word, Adam left and went back to his room.
His dark room, lightened by only the deem light of his notebook.
To be continued...